This is me, Lauren.
And that is my son, Jack, and we are playing in his messy room with trucks and having the absolute best time. A few seconds after this photo was taken, Jack grabbed my face with his chubby little baby hands and planted a big, sloppy, baby kiss on my cheek while giggling hysterically.
This photograph captures the good times. The happy times. The easy times. But, as a child of divorce, I know how fleeting these moments are and how quickly life can turn on you. In fact, I can still remember my parents sitting my sister and I down to explain that they were going to divorce and that life, as we knew it at least, was going to change. In that moment, I was filled with so many questions – none of which my parents had the answers to as they were still figuring out their next steps.
No parent can ever imagine being in that position – having to explain to their child that, for whatever reason, their entire world will be different. Trying to answer their child’s questions in age appropriate ways when you don’t have all of the answers. Hoping that things will not “get nasty” and that you will somehow learn the meaning behind all of the terms you spend hours endlessly googling – like “parenting time,” “co-parenting,” “custody,” “equitable distribution,” “divorce.”
At times, the unknown seems never ending and the fear of the unknown can be crippling.
This new stage in life is undeniably hard. It is one that no one – child, parent, family member – ever wants to find themselves in. And, it is one that I know from the perspective of a child, an adolescent, an adult, a parent, and an attorney.
All of these life experiences have led me to this singular conclusion – divorce is hard, but it does not have to destroy your life, your children’s life, or your bank account. It may not feel like it right now but, with the right approach, you and your children will be right back to making amazing memories – just like Jack and I – that are free from any emotion lingering from a bitter divorce.
I do not view divorce or family separation as an end. Instead, I view it as a new chapter in your life and your child’s life. My focus is on making that chapter distinctly different than mine; because I know it can be – I’ve seen it over and over in the hundreds of cases that I have handled. I listen to your fears, educate you on New York law, and help you find creative solutions that will take your life in the direction you want it to go.
So, that is a little about me. I’d love to hear about you.